WARNING I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about this. As you can see from this extreme closeup, I’m very tired. But in order to (hopefully) go back to sleep, I just have to clarify something about myself. Long ago (yes, my brain is tormenting me with something that happened LONG ago) it was brought to my attention that someone thought I don’t like them because they aren’t religious, which is completely false.
… I don’t like them because they aren’t nice to people.
I mean, most of my PTSD came from members of my faith. Three of those left it eventually. It’d be SO dumb of me to judge the goodness of someone’s character based on shared faith. SO DUMB.
I adore good, wonderful people who make the world around them better, more wonderful, more bearable, that lift and heal. They come in all varieties, with a bright canvas of beliefs, philosophies and ideologies. And I love them. I want to learn from them. I think they’re fascinating and have so much to teach me!
What I don’t like are people that treat other people like crap, and I will avoid them when they start waving BRIGHT RED FLAGS, like:
— Sly, back-handed, manipulative insults designed to make themselves feel better while others go home and either fume or cry.
— Letting someone bend over backward to try and help them when they’re going through a terrible time, but abandoning that same person when their heavy storm shows up.
That hurts, man.
— Having zero respect for other people’s beliefs, trauma, pain or boundaries; being controlling; completely disregarding when they’re making someone uncomfortable or hurting them, and all with a complete lack of empathy.
Let’s see, where’s my 9 1/2 foot pole…
— Refusing to take any responsibility when they’ve deeply hurt someone.
I pulled these examples from different people. This behavior is found in all varieties of folks and is terribly damaging. I’ve been bullied again and again in my life, continually playing it off as something I needed to put up with in order to be a good human. And one day I realized that—I DON’T! So I’m not going to. I can be nice AND have boundaries and self-respect!
And so can you!